36. May Q&A

This month’s Q&A episode begins with a question about Redshirting (postponing entrance into kindergarten to allow extra time for social, emotional, intellectual, and physical growth). This is a controversial topic because parents can be accused of using it to give their kids an advantage, but I explain why it might actually be best to hold a child back, particularly if their birthday is close to the cutoff date. Sending kids too early can set them on a path of feeling like they’re always behind throughout their school career, not only academically, but emotionally and physically as well. I also tackle a question about healthy eating habits and the murky waters of using food as a reward. I break down why I am 100% against this practice as it creates unhealthy relationships with food, and I discuss why food should not be tied to emotions or power struggles with your kid. Finally, I look at using distractions during a tantrum - when it’s good, when it’s bad. There’s a window of opportunity when you can successfully distract your child with a change in scenery or deep breathing exercises, but if they’re past that point and you find yourself in “Juggling Fire and Spinning Plates” territory, it’s actually healthy to let kids experience their full range of emotions so that they can learn the boundaries of what’s acceptable. After all, kids need to be an asshole before they can learn how to not be an asshole. As always, I love hearing your questions and truly appreciate your patronage. Thank you for listening and keep your questions coming!   The Finer Details of This Episode: Redshirting is the practice of postponing entrance into Kindergarten of age-eligible children, to allow extra time for social, emotional, intellectual or physical growth Redshirting is a controversial practice because some parents are accused of using it to give their kids an advantage Kindergarten has a much more challenging curriculum today, and is much more competitive Sending your child to Kindergarten early could set them up to always feel behind the other children as time goes on, not only academically, but physically and emotionally as well 100% against using food as a reward or punishment, as this will create a very unhealthy relationship with food moving forward Do not use dessert as currency to get your child to do expected behavior (eat a healthy dinner, use the potty) If you use food as a reward, it will often escalate to the child asking for more before they comply Try to view your child’s eating habits through a daily lens, not a meal lens - did they get a fair amount of protein, carbohydrates, and nutrients throughout the day versus in that one sitting? Make sure you’re providing age appropriate food and serving sizes so your child is not overwhelmed Create a family meal culture of not having seconds until your plate is clear, knowing you’ve given them an appropriate amount of protein and vegetables Treats should not be associated with any rewards - it’s okay to just have a treat Food should not be tied to emotions or power struggles as this can lead to picky eating or even body image issues later in life “Go To Your Room” strategy helps children learn what self-regulates them The arc of a typical toddler tantrum includes a window of opportunity where you can distract them by going outside, watching a movie, doing deep breathing Kids need to have tantrums and experience the full range of their emotions to learn boundaries of what’s acceptable and what’s not Trying to fix the feeling versus being the calm, centered parent to guide them back into their body Links: Jamie’s Homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices