How to be happy - Sukh & Dukh

Podcast on the nature of Happiness & Sadness covers

* Common myths 

* Causes of suffering/sadness? 

* How can I overcome my pain?  

Myths we live with 

* We cannot help moving between these two feeling as it is a normal & healthy part of life 

* Pleasure is better than pain 

* Pain and pleasure are independent opposites and not linked to each other   

Gurmat tries to create conscious humans - actively aware of their thoughts, so the goal is 

* To reach a neutral state of bliss to all circumstances and situations in life. 

* Constant tranquillity or 'sehaj' (not the same as excitement or happiness) 

* Is this possible - yes, this is how you should judge/asses our own progress.  

Causes of suffering 

* Desires (I want = I don't have) 

* Ownership     

  * Body-mind identity     

  * Ownership of possessions and people 

* Delusions of permanence     

  * Death - we say things like "I lost my father" 

* Control     

  * People should act how I want them to. Everyone acts according to his or her own conditioning.  

Solutions 

* Choose not to focus on the negative     

  * Suffering and anger continues as long as you keep narrating the same story to yourself      

  * Your mood immediately changes when someone calls or rings the doorbell     

  * Music is an instant mood-changer. 

* The past is not your reality now     

  * "I cannot change past but I choose happiness now" 

* Be impartial to everything     

  * Don't prioritise pleasures over suffering.         

    * All pleasures received in the past have faded, leaving you wanting more (so pleasures lead to desires and suffering)     

    * Don't judge anything or anyone's actions as good or bad         

      * In hukam there are only occurrences          

      * These labels only reflect how they affect us.  

* Predict unpredictability     

  * Let go of expectations     

  * Expect the unexpected     

  * Anticipate and get comfortable with the ever-changing nature of reality. 

* Treat Praise and Criticism equally     

  * When you are criticised - think about how that can serve you? (Fareeda burrai da bhalla kar) 

* Live in gratitude and grace     

  * Focus on what you have and not what you don't have     

  * ਦਸ ਬਸਤੂ ਲੇ ਪਾਛੈ ਪਾਵੈ ॥ He obtains ten things, and puts them behind him; ਏਕ ਬਸਤੁ ਕਾਰਨਿ ਬਿਖੋਟਿ ਗਵਾਵੈ ॥ for the sake of one thing withheld, he forfeits his faith. ਏਕ ਭੀ ਨ ਦੇਇ ਦਸ ਭੀ ਹਿਰਿ ਲੇਇ ॥ But what if that one thing were not given, and the ten were taken away?

 ਤਉ ਮੂੜਾ ਕਹੁ ਕਹਾ ਕਰੇਇ ॥ Then, what could the fool say or do?     

  * Start to use the 'Thank-you' mantra     

  * Treat each moment as a gift          

* Bahuta Karam Likhiya Na Jae, Vadda Daataa Til Na Tamaee - Japji Sahib