Everything Always Episode 94: Raising Other People’s Children with Debbie Ausburn
Everything Always - A podcast by Michael and Summer Mulder
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If you’re a step-parent, you know what it’s like to parent and to raise other people's children. Today we’ll be joined by Debbie Ausburn, and we're diving into the complexities, hurdles, and important needs involved with this. She will share insight that might shed light on the unrealistic standards we hold for ourselves and take some of the pressure off in regards to how we think things are “supposed to be.” Listen in as Debbie shares from her experience as a lawyer, foster parent, step-parent, and caregiver of other people’s children. Her passion and experience are in working with traumatized children, serving as a board member, and representing youth-serving organizations. We talk about how you can make the most of your relationship with your stepchildren and have a rewarding relationship, as well as the number one relationship when it comes to having a blended family. 6:35 - 10:12 – An overview of Debbie’s history and why she wrote her book on parenting. 10:13 – 17:57 - The key to understanding a child’s perspective and your position as a non-biological parent. 17:58 – 20:38 - How to deal with guilt in your situation and embrace the journey the best you can. 20:39 – 27:01 - Where the true priority lies in order to make things work with your blended family. 27:02 – 30:28 - The responsibility of the child and how the commitment is one-way. 30:29 – 36:12 - How to have a more rewarding relationship with a teenager. 36:13 – 45:38 - How to deal with authority, setting rules, and being there the best you can. Takeaways: The biggest life lessons that came with Debbie serving many children. The importance of understanding your position in a child’s life and setting up structure. Why we feel guilt and how to deal with that guilt as a step-parent. How to have a rewarding relationship with teenagers or more difficult children. Practical tips and tools for being a step-parent and helping raise other people’s children. Quotes: “Challenges arise no matter how skilled or how well equipped we are.” - Summer “We are their second choice as parents, and that’s okay. We can still have a great relationship.” - Debbie “From a child’s point of view, I am in their life because the world isn’t working the way that it should.” - Debbie 3 Interesting Clips: 10:22 – 12:00 - What to understand when it comes to being a parent to a child that is not yours biologically. 13:26 – 14:29 - An important tool to use when parenting other people’s children. 16:45 – 17:57 - Something that really helps put things in perspective when it comes to addressing challenging situations. Links: Debbie Ausburn: Website | YouTube | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram Raising Other People's Children by Debbie Ausburn Text us: 760-389-3722 Send us an anonymous letter Subscribe & Review in iTunes! Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast. Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you! Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen! Apple Podcasts (iTunes) acast Pocketcasts ListenNotes Spotify player.fm