#207. Is what CLING TO, so tighly, choking you into self sabotage & pushing you further away from your goals?/ Sam Forget

@coachsamforget @transformxruby “and that was enough” end of day summary 90+% of people I work with are hard enough on themselves already. And it’s extremely unlikely they need me to point out that eggs and fruit are generally a healthier choice than donuts at breakfast. ⠀ Our time together is far better spent… Taking a deeper diver is far more valuable than being guilted or shamed or blindly following food rules. ⠀I’m not saying there’s no value in tough love and no-BS coaching. A LOT of people need reality checks about the gap between their effort and expectations. ⠀ But you’ll get much more out of your coaching experience if you reframe it as an opportunity to be supported while collaborating on lifelong skills and solutions. What is off track? How do you navigate the penetration of the surface How do you get them to be okay with getting more detailed and taking ownership because thats so important to gain control People don't want to think about Judgement - no self judgement DATA DATA DATA 1- Learning how to stop self-sabotaging ⠀ Which starts with NOT feeling guilty or ashamed after perfectly human moments. Adding fuel to this fire ultimately does you a disservice when your relationship with food is destroyed and you only eat well when a coach is breathing down your neck. ⠀ 2 Learning how to overcome specific obstacles ⠀ I won’t lie: you’ll probably make better decisions at brunch if you know I’m going to “call you out” for ordering pancakes and mimosas. But it’s much more valuable to learn WHY you struggle to make good choices when you’re out to eat. Maybe it’s underlying deprivation. Maybe it’s str Less is more The Sunk Cost Effect is the tendency to grow attached to a plan, project, or goal we’ve invested resources (like time, money, and energy) into — even if it’s not going well. But we often forget how much we’ve gained from the pursuit alone (experience, knowledge, etc.). Not to mention, there’s a MUCH bigger cost of not letting go: constant stress and a daily weight on our shoulders. Over time, these stories (about our supposed “priorities”) become part of our identities, which makes them hard to let go of. But by not being honest about our actions, and what they’re telling us about our actual priorities, we risk feeling bad about ourselves and our lack of follow-through. The more friction between you and a good decision, the less likely you are to make it. The less decisions between you and a poor decision, the more likely you are to make it. Most coaches and trainers run their clients into the ground in an effort to have them burn more calories—and this works well from a business perspective. Their clients think that’s what they need to do in order to lose weight… so they keep spending money on sessions and classes. But I’m challenging YOU to be the exception. I’m challenging you to be the rare individual who prioritizes getting stronger during your workouts (again: this requires real rest periods). This will transform your body more than any fast-paced “weight loss workout” ever will. Prioritize muscle gain The reason so many people gain weight as they age is NOT because they’re genetically screwed or because their metabolism is broken. It’s because they lose muscle and do nothing about it. Here’s how you can avoid this (at any age): remember ⠀ 1 The last two dozen times you responded to a subpar weekend like this. Did it go smoothly? Or were you cravings through the roof by the following weekend? ⠀ 2 The human element. Fat loss is far from a standalone math equation. What makes numerical sense doesn’t always make sense in the “real world”.